by The Importance of Cabbages LONDON – A dear reader challenged us: “To create a perfect world what type of government would you propose?” Another put it a different way: “Again, I’m convinced more than ever, Trump is the only candidate that might have a chance to get us out of the financial and economic mess the United States is in. If Bonner & Partners is unable to recognize this, it tells me their agenda is not to fix America’s problems… but continue the agony…” Engraving by Charlotte Mary Yonge Emperor Diocletian in retirement, talking to his security detail. Famous quotes made on occasion of his decision to become a cabbage farmer: Diocletian: “Cabbages don’t talk back”. Maximianus (a.k.a. “M”, his co-regent as “Augustus of the West” from AD 286 to AD 305): “You’ve lost your marbles, old chap”. It later turned out that M’s assessment was erroneous. He got bored and came out of retirement after just one year to help his son Maxentius in his fight over the succession, as the “tetrarchy” put in place by Diocletian threatened to splinter. Maximianus succeeded in sorting things out in favor of his son, but not even two years later he recognized he had made a fateful mistake: Maxentius was actually unfit to rule. Maximianus not only told him so, but actually told everybody.
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The Importance of Cabbages
LONDON – A dear reader challenged us:
“To create a perfect world what type of government would you propose?”
Another put it a different way:
“Again, I’m convinced more than ever, Trump is the only candidate that might have a chance to get us out of the financial and economic mess the United States is in. If Bonner & Partners is unable to recognize this, it tells me their agenda is not to fix America’s problems… but continue the agony…”
Engraving by Charlotte Mary Yonge
Emperor Diocletian in retirement, talking to his security detail. Famous quotes made on occasion of his decision to become a cabbage farmer: Diocletian: “Cabbages don’t talk back”. Maximianus (a.k.a. “M”, his co-regent as “Augustus of the West” from AD 286 to AD 305): “You’ve lost your marbles, old chap”. It later turned out that M’s assessment was erroneous. He got bored and came out of retirement after just one year to help his son Maxentius in his fight over the succession, as the “tetrarchy” put in place by Diocletian threatened to splinter. Maximianus succeeded in sorting things out in favor of his son, but not even two years later he recognized he had made a fateful mistake: Maxentius was actually unfit to rule. Maximianus not only told him so, but actually told everybody. Then he ripped the imperial toga from Maxentius before an assembly of soldiers, expecting the soldiers to side with him (he was an old war horse and battlefield hero after all). That turned out to be a miscalculation – instead was chased out of Italy in disgrace. Should have gone for cabbage farming too!
We answer the first question by responding to the second. No, our agenda is not to fix America’s problems. That’s too tall an order for a free letter! Besides, America’s wounds are mostly self-inflicted – the result of free and fair elections (along with the usual fraud and delusions).
Don’t believe cabbages are important? Well, look at them! Photo credit: fmh
Far be it from us to come upon the scene with morphine and bandages and interfere with the workings of such a grand and elegant democracy! Besides, we’re too busy to fix America’s problems… or design a new government. We have problems of our own. Fences that need to be repaired. Toilets that need to be unclogged. And cabbages that need to be planted.
Alert readers will spot the reference to Emperor Diocletian. After fixing the empire for 20 years – with acts in equal measure of genius, wisdom, and imbecility – Diocletian finally saw the light. He retired, returned to his home on the Dalmatian coast, and planted cabbages!
Cabbages are real. And important. You can eat them. They can keep you alive. Government and its policies, its great causes, its Lincolns and Bonapartes, are confabulations of myths, hallucinations, conceits, and lies.
Pharaoh was a god, the ancient Egyptians believed. So it made sense to scrape huge pieces of rock across the hot desert to honor him. Louis XIV was appointed by God. He had a “divine right” to rule, and if that was so, who could say no to him?
And now, the myth du jour is that God stands shoulder-to-shoulder with 51% of registered voters; no matter what dumb-headed thing they do, they always have Him on their side.
Maximianus (he who didn’t think much of cabbages), or Marcus Aurelius Valerius Maximianus Herculius Augustus as it said in his passport.
Trump’s Next Deal
Alas, in modern democracy, the majority can’t really know what is going on or why. The world is too big… and infinitely complex. The sacred majority can’t follow the details of public policy, even in its backyard.
Who among the 51% read the enabling act for Obamacare? Imagine trying to keep up with the shifting politics of the Middle East! The voters can’t tell a Shiite from a she-wolf. So, policies are set not by the voters but by the elite – the Deep State.
Under cover of the dense claptrap and folderol, the elite figure out how to game the system. These “foxes,” as the great Italian economist, Vilfredo Pareto, called them, soon have the government doing their bidding. Can Donald Trump escape the foxes?
The whispering has already started. The foxes are already reconciled to “The Donald” as the Republican candidate. “We can work with this man,” they say to one another. “We may have to…” they sigh. Their message to Trump: “We can work together.”
And now, Mr. Trump must negotiate the most important deal of his life. The papers report that casino magnate and regular Republican donor Sheldon Adelson is considering a major investment in the Trump team.
Sold to the gentleman with the colorful tie! Photo credit: der Spiegel screenshot
We assume he has worked out the terms; most likely Adelson – an ardent supporter of Israel – will insist on a continuation of the Bush-Clinton foreign policy.
That shouldn’t be much of a problem. Trump has made it clear he doesn’t mind torturing people or killing their families, if that’s what it takes to keep the Deep State in business.
And he is rumored to be considering Newt Gingrich for his running mate. That should reassure the Northern Virginia real estate market; the billions of dollars will continue to flow to the military-security-foreign policy industries and pay for McMansions in Fairfax County.
A Better Government?
And what about at health, education, and welfare? Trump has already suggested an increase in the minimum wage might be in order. “Don’t forget,” the foxes whisper, “zombies vote too!”
Then he quickly backed away from an honest discussion of America’s public debt. Someone must have let him know how it works. “Hey,” they probably told him, “we gotta fund the Deep State somehow!” Trump, a quick learner, even suggested a tax hike on the rich.
The cronies know that the zombies are voting as well. Arrangements will have to be made. Photo credit: HISD Communications
Our guess is that the best deal maker in the world will have no trouble finding a win-win with Washington and Wall Street. Our guess is that Wall Street will have no trouble convincing “The Donald” to continue the Greenspan-Bernanke-Yellen financial policies.
Most likely, the ugly truth hidden in his tax records is that he has a lot less money than his bragging suggests – or a mountain of debt. Just guessing (to be confirmed or disproved by later events), but Trump built his fortune on bold moves, cheap credit, and lucky breaks. It would not be surprising if he were deeply in debt; who isn’t? And now, he needs the Fed’s low interest rates as much as anyone.
But… but…but… No matter who is elected, he will have to come to terms with the real government – the foxes who run the Deep State. But remember our questions for today: This just democracy in action, warts and all, right? Nothing is perfect, right? There is no alternative, right? Right? Wrong!
Of course, there’s a better system. Jefferson had the right idea. And Andrew Mellon. Friedrich Hayek. Ludwig von Mises. Milton Friedman. Murray Rothbard. Ron Paul. Small, limited government… with no unpayable debt… no phony money… no empire… no QE… no ZIRP… no phony War on Terror, no War on Drugs… no War on Poverty…
Thomas Jefferson had the right idea about the proper size of government: if you have to have one, keep it as small as possible. Painting by Rembrandt Peale
No Fannie. No Freddie. No trade deals. No foreign policy. A better government? All we can recommend is a smaller one. With less money to steal… and fewer cronies to steal it.
Addendum: Bonus Picture – The Emperor’s Cabbage Palace
The palace where Diocletian spent his retirement years and planted his cabbages. He had definitely not lost his marbles, au contraire! Painting via geocaching.com/
Image captions by PT
The above article originally appeared at the Diary of a Rogue Economist, written for Bonner & Partners.